Oh Everest, My Everest

Clock Time: 5:43:08
Chip Time: 5:37:41
Average Pace: 12:53

I am effing exhausted and the mile 14 Tourette's is still in full force, but I did a pretty good job today (not the best, but decent) so here are the splits:

5K - 00:40:50, 13:08 pace, predicted finish: 5:44:20
10K - 1:16:21, 12:17 pace, predicted finish: 5:22:03
15K - 1:51:01, 11:54 pace, predicted finish: 5:12:00
20K - 2:39:46, 12:51 pace, predicted finish: 5:36:54
1/2 - 2:48:32, 12:51 pace, predicted finish: 5:36:54
25K - 3:17:41, 12:43 pace, predicted finish: 5:33:25
30K - 3:59:46, 13:08 pace, predicted finish: 5:44:20
40K - 5:25:13, 13:05 pace, predicted finish: 5:43:01

This is the race I should have run last year. I was hoping I could skip it and go right on to a big improvement. The first three splits had me coming in easily at 5:15, but then I really needed to use the portajohn right before mile 10 and I couldn't just keep running until I got to one without a line (that didn't happen until mile 20). So I waited TWELVE WHOLE MINUTES to use one, though I was at least clever enough to do it at the orange station so I could enjoy my little frozen slice of orange while waiting in line. Between the actual time wasted there and the rough start I had after standing still for 12 minutes, I could have easily made my realistic goal of 5:30. In fact, the 5:30 pace group caught up to me around mile 22 when I started to feel really bad, and I tried to stay motivated and keep pace with them for a while. That lasted all of a mile. Mile 23 rolled around and I realized that while they were doing run-walk like I had resorted to by that point, they were not doing 4/1s like me. They were doing something longer like 5/1 or 6/1, which might as well have been 60/1 or 300/1 considering the shape I was in. It couldn't have been too far off of my own system, but it was just enough to really, really hurt.

My joints seem okay, but my muscles are KILLING me. My calves and IT bands are the worst. I've never had to stop and stretch so much and even sitting still is agonizing with my IT bands wigging out on me. It's most certainly time for some vitamin I. I can't believe I thought I was going to do a speed workout this week. Like, did I smoke some crack when I planned on that and just not remember that I did? Seriously. A marathon is no joke. I take back what I said about 20-milers. Those babies are totally doable. Marathons are the ones that are like plane wrecks. Plain and simple, yo. The human body does NOT want to run that far. Ever. And when we make them do that anyway, they ruthlessly make us pay.

Two-word summary race report: OUCH! BOO-ya.

Labels: blue powerade, caffeine, great weather, GU, MCM, P.R., sport beans